To Be or Not To Be A Mother !

To become a mother is one dream that almost all women nourish and cherish. From the day of conceiving to the day of delivery, it is one experience which gives a woman a sense of fulfillment. There are some minor occurrences and setbacks which are to the contrary of this eternal truth. There have been incidents of abortions or leaving a child at the doorstep of an Ashram just after birth. To me, these are bound to happen in a world where people are segregated on the basis of gender, caste and religion. Sometimes some unavoidable circumstances also lead to termination of pregnancy, but all these are few and far between.

Now I’ll tell you the story of one of my friends. She married her boyfriend after courtship of nearly 8 years.  There were hiccups regarding the marriage, but their love for each other and their will power had the last laugh. It’s been two years now and they have understood the real meaning of ‘married life’. They never faced problems with each other, but things were made difficult by the people surrounding them.  My friend, though somewhat unhappy with her life, found some happiness from the fact that she is going to be a mother. Here, again, she faced the opposition of none other than her in-laws. They are against her pregnancy, for no apparent reasons and even asked her to undergo MTP. This friend of mine, already facing health issues, spent couple of days crying and sobbing, not knowing what to do. Finally, everything was solved when her husband and brother-in-law intervened.

My question here is when everything is fine, why people tend to destroy the happiness. When a husband and wife does not have any doubt of giving birth to the baby, why are the parents-in-laws interfering. The decision of having a baby or not should entirely depend on the would-be-parents. There is no need for others to make things complicated. A married life has its advantageas as well as disadvantages, more so for the girls entering a new family altogether. It is the tinge of extra effort from everyone concerned which can make things a lot easier and better. So, when a girl comes to know of her impending motherhood, it is desirable to provide her with some extra support and care rather than marring her happiness.

We, in India, consider family to be an imporant part of our lives. Family is where the heart is. We respect our elders and give love to youngers. While making important decisions we take the advice of our parents. For me, all these thing are fine as long as we draw as line. There are things which are decided best without the parents meddling. The various experiences of life has taught me that if you are in control of certain situations in life, it is not a bad thing after all 😀 Now I would like to wish my friend all the best for her upcoming motherhood.

~ by Haimanti on May 13, 2009.

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